Vulnerability in Our Writing: They're "open." Should we be?

Last spring I shared a post about a professional failure as an AP Lit reader 32 years ago--whoops.  When I first posted the story, it quickly got 600 views. I was surprised. But feeling awkward, I took it off within the first 24 hours. (The ol' post/unpost.)

     I softened it a bit and put it back up anyway, and "A Less Than Stellar Entry to AP Reading" is one of the top 4 of my 50+ blog essays. (It seems to have been more interesting to would-be readers than something on creative responses to Dickinson poetry or teaching freshmen how to summarize NYTIMES articles about reigniting mammoth DNA.) Anyway, it's a kind of a confessional piece about how I sucked as an AP Lit reader in my twenties (partly because I drank a lil' too much each night on the River Walk in San Antonio--and partly because I was just in over my head academically). Either way, I was literally fighting sleep during those eight-hour air-conditioned scoring sessions. I didn't get fired (thank God), but they  didn't ask me back the following year. Whoops. 

Anyway, the blog post brought me incredible fame (not). But I did wonder why it was a hit. I don't think others want us to screw up, but failures are intriguing. Vulnerability makes us uncomfortable for sure--even as readers, but if we can get past the second hand awkwardness, maybe we're just naturally curious about people's "not wins." 

Generally, I feel like being vulnerable in writing is ok. However, a book on creative nonfiction, Tell It Slant (named after Dickinson's poem), warns of not turning a personal essay into the "therapist's couch," not telling an emotional story too soon at the risk of being maudlin or vindictive, and the importance of understanding your motive and how the piece will affect a reader.

Well, my stupid story of failure was certainly not too soon, maudlin, or vindictive. Hopefully, I wasn't using it as a therapist's couch. I do wonder about my motive a little. Why share about getting drunk a few times that week on the River Walk in San Antonio? How transparent should we be in our writing? 

We all know that our students are certainly putting their trust in us with their essays. For many of us, especially kids, it's a scary thing to share your ideas with someone--let alone someone who will, by nature of the situation, probably judge your grammar and style. My AP Lang students recently wrote personal essays--a "3.5 page any-style paper." I told them we wouldn't do the usual  peer editing. I was going to be the only one to read it (if so they chose); hopefully, they would view me as more of a reader than a wicked grader on the attack. (I don't use rubrics on personal narrative assignments--I rather dislike rubrics anyway,]) 

They're seniors, and I've known most of the kids almost two years now. Some of these essays were funny, all were reflective, and  some were surprisingly vulnerable. They were so well written. Though composing creative nonfiction certainly doesn't prep them more for the May test,  I'm so glad each year that we work the assignment in. I'm not very judgy when it comes to personal stuff and they probably know that. (I'm pretty flawed.) I would, of course, address any situation if they were in danger or I was alarmed by what they wrote. They know that, too, but these weren't vulnerable that way, thank goodness. But still, they took risks. 

So how about us? I have read others' posts on Facebook and have colleagues who also  think it is important for teachers to share their writing with students. I do it verrrrry rarely. (I put an AP practice essay I wrote on a blind reading table once (no names) and got kind of schooled.) Some students know I have a blog, but I keep my last name off it on the site. (They're not dying to read it anyway, I'm guessing. Prom, scholarship essays, upcoming graduation parties are more important than your ol' teacher's blog on teaching English.) 

However, I write fairy journals (fiction!) that I have read aloud to students a few times over the years. They seem surprised and don't seem to know quite how to respond. Maybe that's my gig--writing things people don't really know how to take. Below is one of my fairy's journal entries. She's generally upbeat, but struggles some with depression. Posting this is probably a bit open for me (and not really helpful to anyone)--fiction isn't my go to. Read it if you like. The fairy's my alter ego probably. My uncle once said everyone's first novel is likely 50% autobiographical! (I won't write a fae novel.)

This all said, I hope you take some creative risks today (or at least this summer when time allows).  Sharing more of who we are is interesting, and potential failures are usually worth it. I have been a strong AP Lang reader for the last six years. As my friend Becky used to say, "No regrets." 

Here's the AP reader fail post, and below that is my try at first person fiction.

(https://tracetheelateacher.blogspot.com/2025/06/a-less-than-stellar-entry-to-ap-reading.html)

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FAIRY's WINTER JOURNAL 20XX