Productivity Guilt: Don't let it be a summer thing.

 

I always find myself a little weirded out the beginning of summer break. The first few weeks I am both happy and crazy restless--well, maybe more relieved than giddy. One day when I couldn't seem to reconcile the realities of a little freedom,  I looked up why I can't relax. For example, I even have to schedule in reading. It's weird. Do you feel me?  When I googled it I stumbled on various types of guilt that get in the way of truly embracing the possibilities of freedom from the buzz of activity.  

    The first type was LEISURE GUILT--feeling uncomfortable when taking time to relax or rest, enjoy something we enjoy. I completely experience this. I fill my days with lists and either need or crave productivity. The other day when I was listing things I wanted to "accomplish" by the hour I put "1:00-1:40--GRADE" ?? and then switched it to read.  I am reading something rather silly but kind of fun, The Thursday Murder Club, (a little slow but well written enough). I feel like it's not an efficient endeavor for forty minutes. I think this is a left over that comes with 9.5 months of nonstop  prepping, grading, and (of course) TEACHING (and for me, commuting 50 min. each way.) The 50 hours of work with the almost 10 hours of driving begins to seem so normal--tough, but normal somehow. 

So, I think I am dealing with OPTIMIZATION OBSESSION, a compulsion to optimize your time, every minute--believing that overworking can connect to being more...perfect. So I have to have a classic going at the same time--I'm fifty pages into EAST OF EDEN. It's undeniably great and moving, but kind of disturbing. Steinbeck, am I right? I am listening to Tomorrow, and Tomorrow, and Tomorrow on audio and am partway through I Cheerfully Refuse and a Bradbury book: Zen in Writing. Since I have ADHD, the variety is stimulating, but reading too often has to be viewed as an achievement for me. My daughter and a couple times a year do a readathon: we read as much as possible of a TBR in 6-24 hours. I love doing this. It gives me "permission" to read as I am connecting with my daughter and achieving a goal. I am productive and closer to "perfection" through purposeful activity.  

I think I grew up with some HOSTILE CULTURE GUILT--we always HAD to be doing something productive as kids in my family (still, I would escape daily to the pool and then watch TV as Dad was always at work as a superintendent). My background and the examples in my life gave me the  social pressure to achieve. But once I began teaching, nthe school culture did, too. Weirdly, I wanted to be "the best" and with my flaws, the only way to do that was to work the hardest. 

So, this is the one I worry many teachers feel during the school year and even during summer break: TOXIC PRODUCTIVITY. As related to the others, we expect ourselves to also maintain extremely  high efficiency even at the expense of our well-being. Sigh. Please, I say, please, don't do that to yourself. 

Teachers need that break. If it's not even the WORK, it's being on demand in a socially professional manner in front of twenty-five kids each period. 

Today I am totally without plans.  My July calendar is full, but I've got nothing. I have decided to try to embrace it instead of killing it or filling it productively. 

Thoreau said, "As if you could kill time by without injuring eternity." (I have t-shirt to prove it.)

We should take better care of ourselves if possible--at least in the summer.  What if you enjoyed a completely unproductive morning or day? Those of you who do, you have it figured out. You're not injuring eternity. Seriously, read the books that help you relax (or don't read at all). Take a nap if needed. I don't know--give up that stupid PRODUCTIVITY GUILT whenever possible. (That said, I do need to do some Amazon returns to Kohl's, try on possible dressy outfits for my daughter's wedding, watch a video about my upcoming hip replacement surgery, and hit the grocery store for supplies for the neighborhood party I'm hosting Thursday night.) I should do these things today. They're not awful, but I wish I could embrace not doing anything at all.  Because guilt caused by free time should not be a thing.

That's a wrap! And the story of my legit amnesia incident at school....

 

(You can jump to the amnesia part.) 

I was an English teacher for a long time. I started teaching AP Lit and 3 other upper level preps at Jefferson-Scranton High School in 1987. Many of you know what it's like to be only 4-5 years older than your students. Some of them were absolutely brighter than I was as well. With a Masters in Literature from ISU and about 38 years teaching mostly high school, but some at the community college and university level, I feel a little more on top of my game. But new teachers also have special powers.

RETIRED: And....she's done.I'll have to admit it feels weird. I loved my job, the kids, the people, my self-selected teaching assignment, and teaching writing. I did not like the 50 minute commute! I didn't realize it would be a 12 year gig. They got my name from one of my prior schools and the principal called--three weeks before classes began. I was set to be an adjunct, which I was able to get out of. 

THE INJURY: My husband had a long fall down our stairs and all but broke his neck in October. Spinal surgery, a few weeks in  the hospital and several months  in-patient rehab and then home. Working full time got trickier. I took the first 2-3 weeks off to be at the hospital, and when he got moved to a rehab center also in Methodist, I went back to work. Pretty much every day from mid-November to mid-Febuary I would drive the fifty minutes straight from work to hang out with him in the rehab unit in the hospital. It was exhausting. I'm a morning person. It was pretty exhausting.

Nutshell, the week he was supposed to come home I had a strange incident.  I was extremely stressed transforming the house and the stairs and buying a wheel chair, a walker, an adjustable bed.  I was worried I wouldn't be able to take care of him--would he ever be able to get down the three steps to the patio? I needed to get my lesson plans for two weeks done as I would stay home with him that long to help him get adjusted. It worked! He is doing quite well!  I'm grateful times 100 that he had not cognitive damage and that he is able to walk with a walker (and do the dishes).

AMNESIA, for real: Anyway, two days before he came home I had an amnesia episode. (Like on TV, right? But no coconut hit me on the head.) I remember stopping for pop the morning on the way to school. I remember nothing of the rest of the commute, conversations I had with colleagues, teaching about 20 min of TKAM--it's a blank. I don't remember being in the front office and leaving in a wheelchair, then a stretcher and being taken  by ambulance to the larger city next door.  My sister and sister-in-law live 25 minutes from the school, and Susan drove my car to the hospital. Jill and Susan were with me all day. I don't remember the extensive testing they did that day.  I remember waking up the next morning alone in a hospital room.  Jill and Susan came back quickly as well as a friend from DSM.

I still remember nothing of that day or evening. :(.  It's weird and sad and crazy. They said it was GTA: Global Transient Amnesia. (It's a thing; you can look it up if interested.) You can function well, but just can't create any memories. It can be brought on by jumping into extremely cold water, rigorous sex, and a few other things that didn't apply to me. BUT, it can also happen when someone is under extreme stress. That was me, I guess. 

Anyway, I didn't go back the next day and then was off with my husband caring for him for 2 weeks--scrambling on the lesson plans. My chances of it happening again are like 1 in 10,000.  It ever happening to anyone is statistically very very very low. That's why nobody has heard of it. Don't worry about having an episode.

I had already decided by that point to retire, but it kind of made me more eager for the end ,and I watched my stress pretty closely.  Returning to school was weird and then mostly fine. I had sent an email to the staff and put things on Google Classroom for my students saying it was just a medical situation but that I was just fine. Kids are pretty good at moving on. Everyone is when a situation is kind of peripheral. My son was in Thailand at the time and it really worried him--he had already dealt with his dad's partial paralysis due to the fall.  My daughter was in college and came home at Thanksgiving for a week, an art major, working on a carving project in the hospital room. My husband is an artist as well.  As his right hand is still a bit compromised, he has stopped working as a graphic illustrator. But I'm retired now anyway. And my IPERS starts coming in July.

Leaving was wicked hard because I still loved it. I had some years left in me. But I'll be OK. Fun news--I get to be the editor for a new column I pitched for the English Journal! It should be posted soon on the site. Please submit! I also want to write a book--maybe on teaching English OR being a successful neurodivergent educator. I really want to thank all of you who read this blog! I'll probably keep writing.  I'll let you know if I publish a book! 

Happy summer~

Trace

Reading AP Lang exams at home: no spoilers!

 I truly prefer scoring AP Lang essays at home. This year I am on Lang Question 3--the argument. THANK GOD. The last four years I was on Question 2 and the monotony of the rhetorical analysis over the same speech or section of a memoir? Brutal. I actually contacted the College Board this year requesting Q1 or Q3.  My husband said, "All you had to do is ask."  I'm not sure--it would seem unlikely that they even read my request and even more unlikely that they'd care. Nevertheless, a win for me as each argument has at least some freshness. There are some similar sports examples (of course), but even then, the angle is always slightly varied. Every at bat holds the opportunity for a triple; the home run is tricky due to the ambiguity and difficulty of acquiring that elusive sophistication point, but I certainly award it on occasion as they slide into home! (Sports analogy)

My son is reading for the first time--AP Calc exams!--in Thailand. The time frame for group meetings and  when the scoring window was open were both issues at first, no surprise. However, it's  fun to get texts from him about how it's going. Sounds like scores on math tests are a little more "right or wrong" than AP Lang, especially a Lang argument essay.  I think I prefer this. However, he has navigated Bangkok for the last four years, so he can pull off anything, I think. My first AP reading occurred at about the same age--I was twenty-eight. Below is the link to that.  I did a lil' too much drinking on the river walk, and I think it affected my performance in regards to fatigue during the eight-hour work days. Also, I was on Q3 for Lit and had certainly not read all the books on the list. I told Max that the first year of reading is the toughest for sure, but he seems to be doing well! (He's much smarter than I am.) 

I haven't even considered on-site reading since I started five years ago for Lang. I like that I can take breaks as needed--you just log out and can come back fresh in an hour. My reclining love seat beats a chair, and no one is judging me if I have to get up and go to the bathroom every hour or eat a bag of Bit-0-Honey in forty-five minutes. Nutshell, my two pieces of advice--if you're reading on site, consider at-home scoring next year, and if you are a first-year reader, go easy on yourself! 

To all of you currently participating in this academic game, good luck and good job! I should get back to it--I do log out when I'm taking a break like this. Sometimes I worry that some think at-home readers are slackers or dishonest. Not true! But we are probably more comfortable. We can also do it from Iowa or Southeast Asia. Did I mention I'm proud of him, and glad he's not the type of reader I was thirty-plus years ago? 

https://tracetheelateacher.blogspot.com/2025/06/a-less-than-stellar-entry-to-ap-reading.html

WRITING CREATIVITY AND SOUL: I liked it, Sue Monk Kidd

 

I like to read books about writing. I am a comp teacher--AP Lang and COMP, AP Lit and COMP, and English 9--they just wrote a personal essay and an 11th hour research paper.  But that's not why I read books on writing. I feel confident about teaching and responding to writing--really, I should (and you likely should as well). I've got 38 years, so I've likely put my 10,000 hours in! But I read these books because I want to be a writer. I want to write a book. I am neurodivergent and am considering writing about being a teacher with some mental health issues. 

But right now I want to write down ideas I got from Sue Monk Kidd's 2025 memoir/writing guide, Writing Creativity and Soul. I liked it. I don't think I was into her memoir parts as much--which is maybe ironic, as I want to write a memoir. But I really enjoyed her commentary on writing. I should probably admit, I liked Secret Life of Bees alright, (my friend Robin said it was kind of the same type as The Help, and she's got something there). I would never have to read it again. I started the one about the young writer girl who fell in love with Jesus (The Book of Longings). I thought that one was better and will finish it someday. 

It's sometimes surprising to me how  many writers (self help or novelists) write about writing and writers. My uncle was kind of brilliant and felt everyone's first novel was probably a good percentage autobiography. (He probably had something there as well.) One of my teacher friends opens a poetry unit with poems about writing poetry. He makes it really work, but I hate those. They make me want to performative yawn. They are definitely worse than books about being an author. The only good ones I've read are Mark Strand's "Eating Poetry" which is technically about reading poetry and one by Colleen McElroy that I came across in an old AP Lit exam: "Monologue for St. Louis."  

Anyway. I am going to write about a writing book now. Hypocrite? (I'm not writing about my writing--about my reading about writing.)

Here are some nuggests I found interesting in Writing Creativity and Soul

Sue Monk Kidd talked about how fiction writers are either planners or spontaneous. She's a planner. I'm also reading Bradbury's Zen in the Art of Writing--he reallllllly pushes for spontaneity! I lean more toward the latter. (She mentions the Bradbury book in Writing Creativity and Soul--that's probably why I ordered it.)

p. 128 Monk Kidd talks about "the writer's malady: the anxiety of beginning." There's certainly something there. But I can usually find some stupid things to say to get me going. I usually then end up with too much preamble.

p. 141 She talks of "inevitability": I find inevitability fascinating in general--it connects to how much responsibility I have to take for my this and thats. She meant it connected to fiction, though: "I try to create a causal chain of events as much as possible, so the plot seems inevitable and believable, but I reserve the right to let the queen die of unrelated natural causes. As in life, sometimes stuff just happens."

p. 148 SMK mentions that the reader is smart. I tell my AP Lang writers this all the time--don't insult your reader by assuming they're stupid. (I just kind of did it right there by explaining that. (I just did it again. (And again.)). Sorry.

p. 172-73 Monk Kidd has also written memoir--Dance of the Dissident Daughter--which I haven't read. She said, "in our creating we are created." I like that.  

I also think that in our personal storytelling we can regain control of a narrative--make it something it was not at the time or something it actually means instead of the incident in the moment.  I like to do that with embarrassing moments or things I regret. It seems to elevate them--give them some dignity or purpose. 

p. 205 "Sometimes all you need in order to rewrite a piece of the world is anger and grief." She's right, I think. My first published piece was about a sexual assault, and the trickiness of using something like Oates' "Where Are You Going, and Where Have You Been?" in high school lit classes. When someone in the same publishing grad class told me I was "so lucky," I remember saying to him, "Have a tragedy; write it up." p. 196 "...we become present to our pain by representing or re-presenting it to ourselves in scenes with detail and vividness." 

p. 194 Similarly, she feels our sorrow can be handled by making a story. She notes that life events lead to a "metamorphosis" anyway. Why not write them?

(Bradbury says to write about what you hate and love--to make lists and go there.)

p. 203 She quotes Zola--I read Therese Raquin in French in college! "I am here to live out loud." Je suis ici vivre avec volume. (Translation credit: Trace)

p. 121 SMK quotes Faulker: "the human heart is in conflict with itself." True dat.

p. 155 Last thing, because I'm a restless person and ready to just put this online-- what the hell-- she reminds herself to "hurry slowly."  She said she thinks the idea has its roots in Greek or Latin, and I know I read something from one of the Stoics like that: "Go slow to go fast."  I generally go fast, and then try to re-narrate the details later. It's often a re-story. It helps me find some peace anyway.

I recommend the book--I sent a copy to my friend Teresa (a gifted teacher and writer). The book is 1/2 price on Amazon right now ($12), if you can stand giving money to Jeff Bezos.

The Coolest Research Essay Trick! Save 5-10 minutes per paper!

It's 11:00 AM on the Saturday of Memorial Day weekend.  Thank God! That means we have 3.5 days left of teaching and 3 days of workshop. I have been grading today--I probably did 3 hours reading Eng. 9 research papers. They are fine for freshman papers. I've spent the afternoon reading about the evils of electric vehicles, the need to keep funding the space program, book banning (she's on the correct side), and ditching daylight savings time--sadly, that one isn't...logical.  They are short, short and take about 8 minutes each. HOWEVER, I am grateful for an idea I came up with a couple years ago that SHORTENS the time spent trying to figure out if their citations match up, if they even USED all the sources on the works cited, OR if they included extra sources they didn't include on the list.

THE TIME-SAVING IDEA....

Here is the key: HIGHLIGHTING!  If this is common practice, forgive me, but I SWEAR I came up with it on my own at least.

On their WORKS CITED list, they highlight each source in a different color (online). THEN, they locate the source within their essay and highlight it the same color. (The next source is in green, for example.)

On these freshman essays with 4 sources each, it's helpful; however, in a longer research paper with twice that many sources it is a huge time saver! 

Anyway, I love it. Otherwise it's like, whew, I'm done responding to another paper, but damn, now I have to play the matching sources game. It's especially irritating when they have one on the citation list that is NOT in their paper (I would look through the paper several times). It's one of the few things I have come up with that ACTUALLY saves me time!  Do it! 

MOREOVER, it helps them know if their sources match up!!!!! 

If you figured this out years ago, you really SHOULD have written a blog entry about it! 

Student Name

Mrs. Tensen

English 9

22 May 2026

Should Homework Be Used in Schools Today?

After a long school day, many students still face hours of homework, raising the question of whether it’s truly helping or just adding pressure. Homework has been used in schools for many years to help students practice skills and prepare for tests. Some people believe homework

improves learning and responsibility, while others think too much homework causes stress and

exhaustion. Homework should be limited because too much of it increases stress, creates inequality, and does not always improve learning.

Too much homework can cause stress and mental exhaustion for students. Many students spend most of their day at school and sports so they end up doing their homework at night even when they are already exhausted and tired. This can have a large negative impact on a student's sleep that is vital for their growth and well being at a young age. The article “Homework: No Proven Benefits” from Edutopia explains that there is little evidence homework improves achievement, especially for younger students(Kohn). This shows that large amounts of homework may not actually improve learning. Instead, it can increase stress and reduce student motivation.

Homework can also create inequality between students. Not all students have the

same resources at home or the same conditions. The article “Education Inequity and Homework” from the University of

San Diego Joseph Lathan says, “Not all students have equal access to technology, quiet spaces, or

help at home” (Lathan). This explains that some students may go home after school and have to take care of a younger sibling or go to work. This creates an inequality between students. While one student might go home and have plenty of time and a quiet space to get work done another student may have no space or quiet time to get work done. This can also be applied to the resources a student might have. Some students may have a computer and good internet to get work done, another student may not, which is also unfair and creates an unfair environment.

Supporters of homework argue that it helps students practice skills and become more responsible. The Harvard Graduate School of Education explains that homework can help students build independence and study habits (Weber). This is true because homework can help reinforce learning and prepare students for tests when it is limited and meaningful. However, too much homework causes stress, reduces sleep, and can negatively affect mental health. Excessive homework creates more harm than benefit.

Picture this. After a long day at school, a student comes home tired from classes, tests, and activities. Instead of relaxing, they have hours of homework to finish while also balancing chores or sports. The student struggles to focus because they are stressed and exhausted. Another student in the same class has a quiet house, strong internet, and parents who can help with assignments. This creates an unfair situation because not all students have the same support at home. By the time the first student finishes their homework, it is late at night and they lose important sleep. This shows how homework creates stress, unfairness, and lack of balance. It proves that students have very different home situations and that too much homework can hurt both health and learning. Sarah Zoloff in  The article “How Homework Affects Students: The Pros and

Cons” from NSHSS explains that “excessive homework can increase stress, harm mental health,

and reduce free time.”

As indicated, Too much homework increases stress, creates inequality, and does not always improve learning. Homework should be limited so students can have a healthier balance between school and personal life. Students already spend long hours at school, so adding excessive homework only increases pressure. If schools continue assigning too much homework, students may become more stressed, less motivated, and less successful in learning overall.

Works cited goes on its own page

Works Cited

Kohn, Alfie. “Homework: No Proven Benefits.” Edutopia, https://www.edutopia.org/no-proven-benefits. Accessed 18 May 2026.

Lathan, Joseph. “Is Homework Necessary? Education Inequity and Its Impact on Students.” University of San Diego Online Degrees, https://onlinedegrees.sandiego.edu/education-inequity-and-homework/. Accessed 18 May 2026.

“The Pros and Cons of Homework.” Oxford Learning, https://oxfordlearning.com/the-pros-and-cons-of-homework/. Accessed 18 May 2026.

Scott, Cydney. “Does Homework Really Help Students Learn? | Bostonia.” Boston University, 19 February 2019, https://www.bu.edu/articles/2019/is-homework-helpful/. Accessed 18 May 2026.

Weber, Matt. “The Case for Homework | Harvard Graduate School of Education.” Harvard Graduate School of Education, 29 September 2016, https://www.gse.harvard.edu/ideas/edcast/16/09/case-homework. Accessed 18 May 2026.

Zoloth, Sarah. “How Homework Affects Students: The Pros and Cons.” NSHSS, Nation Society of High School Scholars, 4th April 2025, https://www.nshss.org/resources/blog/blog-posts/how-homework-affects-students-the-pros-and-cons/.

FINAL PUSH: Two weeks left and some teachers are packing up? I'm jealous.

 

I'm guessing this may irritate some people (well, it did, so I took it down within a couple hours when I could sense a few people's frustration, but here I go again). Essentially, this early packing up is something I don't understand. :( Maybe it's because I prep kids for an AP Lit and an AP Lang test in May. It puts me a bit behind in other grading, especially addressing late work. My husband fell down a flight of stairs in October, and I missed about five weeks of school this year--a lot. So I am doing a final push now (but I always do a final push). I (call me crazy) started an MLA research paper with English 9 on Monday. Most have the research done, have done a graphic organizer, and will throw together an outline folllowing my example during Monday's shortened period. The paper's very short: 2.5-4 pages. They have to have four sources, an anecdote or a scenario, acknowledgement of the opposition, and a works cited.  I'm giving them the two weeks of class time right before finals week to get it done.

I have been impressed so far! These freshmen have hunkered down this week. This is especially impressive because they just turned in a personal essay Friday (they were also trickling in this week). They are gonna pull it off. So this weekend I will read 3 classes worth of English 9 personal narratives (1.5-3 pages). I  give lots of feedback and allow revision. I refuse to use a rubric on a freakin' personal essay, so I grade it holistically. Next week Friday I will hopefully have most of the research papers so I can grade those over the three-day weekend. (For those, I use a rubric.)

I am "that English teacher" who uses the 3 work days after students leave.  First,  I grade the semester tests and any late work, then finish all pd stuff that I put off because I was busy teaching and grading. Following this, I work on cleaning my room and do book inventory. With grades due Tuesday during the work days, some of the teachers were complaining about having to be there Wednesday. "What are we supposed to do? Look at each other?" Tell you what. I'll have plenty to do. (Am I bragging, complaining, or both?)

AP Lang kids are done (seniors). By the end, AP Lit will have read OF MICE AND MEN, done a group podcast  over OMAM and the other texts from the semester, and  they are also writing a 4-6 page short story! That is their final--I told them to pick 2 pages they want me to respond to, and they were fine with that.  They are working with small groups of reviewers--kinda cool. The freshman semester test will be on paper. At least I'm not prepping a ton at this point! Everything is (almost) assigned and explained (except for inserting citations and freshmen semester test review)--finally, kids just have a lot of work time from here on out. As they work I will be checking research organizers and outlines, helping them work in sources, etc. I won't be planning for next year.

So, busy. I've got circumstances, but I have always been one of those "teach until things close down" girls. How are people covering their bookcases with big sheets of paper, printing things for next year, planning a new prep for next year, doing inventory already? Shoot. I finally asked. "How are you doing all that? I'm buried." They said, "Well, I do it at home on my own time." (I, like many, always work most nights and many hours on the weekend during the year just to keep up.)  They have something figured out that I haven’t.  But I do teach two AP courses.

Wow. I'm the best. Or am I the worst?

I guess this is kind of a bitter post, but I think it's half that I don't get how they pull it off and half jealousy.  At least half jealousy.  Just because I'm still working like mad doesn't mean that they can't slow things down early enough that they can get all the extra tidying up and planning for next year done before the post-student work days. Also, pushing my kids hard until the end feels like a necessity to me. I want them to learn a bit more--learn until the end. In the efficient teachers' defense, I don't know what they're doing with the students, and I'm guessing they did the tougher things earlier and gentler things toward the end. They are closer to being done in so many ways than I am.

Many may think I'm a martyr. But I'll soon be done just like everyone else. It'll be a slog, but like I said, my kids seem into it! It will be not until 5:00 the last day of post-student work days--then I will be done, too. I will be done then, too.

What's more? These other teachers are absolutely effective educators! They will likely offer to help me that last day as they have in the past, because they're so freaking nice (and efficient). It's not their FAULT they're organized or finished the most important things earlier in the semester. I do have wicked ADHD which makes me kind of an outlier. I am admittedly inefficient. But I should give up the judgy bitterness. It's unbecoming and misplaced. Sigh.

Do it your way!!! Be efficient if you're able! 

(Please just don't tell me about being completely ready for everything first semester next year when I'm still under water the last two weeks with kids. It makes me feel kind of defeated.) 

So how do I have time to write a blog post? It's easy to vent. 

Nutshell. I can do this, and  it is not necessary for others to struggle the same way I do just because I have issues. Not sure my backtracking worked.  I am jealous. Please don't give up on my blog! I'll bounce and not complain next time!!!!

Since I posted it a couple hours ago, two other teachers read it making a good defense for being less intense about teaching. One talked about family and balance and the other talked of her health issues--these are important reasons to approach this tough job however you need to!  I did get a message from another woman though, who thanked me for sharing my view on this issue. It was nice to feel a lil' validated! 

After the AP Lit exam...congrats!? :)

 I like AP Lit facebook so much and go on there a lot sharing my blogs and opinions--some popular, some not so much.  But I am always wary about going on the site the day of the test. I don't hear from many of my kids on test day--this year I was gone Wed. because of stupid knee thing. But even had I been there they don't usually come dancing  to my room after the test and exclaim (as some teachers' students do), "The test was so easy! All three essays were great and the multiple choice  questions were not nearly as hard as the ones we do in class." 

Reading those fired up responses makes my stomach drop. OF COURSE, I want to hear the exact same thing, but my students' responses as they trickle slowly in will be all over the board.  Some girl will say she finished the MCT with 25 minutes left and another will say it gave her so much trouble it threw her off for the essay portion. Another will say it all went really well, but then will start talking about trying to come up with the devices she needed to discuss for Q3. Devices for Q3?! Crap.

I think I care too much about AP and the exam, and I always have.  Today I will finally see all my Lit students.  If the variety of responses from the first five are any indication of the rest of the commentary,  I'm going to wonder, "What the heck did I (or didn't I) teach them? " I mean, I have varying ability levels in class, but they all sat in the same room for the last nine months getting the same schtick. Still, there are lots of factors. Mostly, I am so proud of them for taking the test. 

So, today is a party day.  They are supposed to bring food and we'll watch BLACKFISH and everyone can hate Sea World for a few days.  My students are juniors, so we have 2.5 weeks to coast out.  After the movie, we'll likely read OF MICE AND MEN or THE LONG WAY DOWN, and perform the Absurd one-act play The Sandbox by Albee. I promised them no homework for two weeks after the exam.  I'll admit it it--I am anxious to hear what they have to say about the test today--hopefully it won't be a chorus of, "Wow! I just didn't feel ready!" I doubt that.  We left it all on the field.  Now they wait. And hopefully think about anything else! Like I will think about my huge blooming bush!!!

I'll be glad when the AP Lang test is over, too. I only have 10 seniors taking that one. They did a full practice essay test yesterday, and I had them choose 2 of the 3 for me to respond to. Tragically, I also get a short (4 page) APA research paper from them this weekend. I seriously am here to make them hate their lives (or me mine), I think. (Their last day is next Thursday!)

Anyway, CONGRATS to you on the accomplishment of helping your kids prep for a really challenging exam! Huzzah!  For some of us, one down! Here's something else to be grateful for--an owl posing on my garage! I'll keep my cats inside.

P.S. I did disassociate this year at school. GTA. My husband fell down a flight of stairs and it was months later when he was a week from coming home....more on that eventually. I didn't know temporary amnesia was a thing.