A Less than Stellar Entry to AP Reading...

Here's a true story about my first AP reading when I was in my twenties. I was leaving my first high school  teaching job and headed to a nearby university to serve as a one-year liaison instructor (I would bring info about hs comp AND would gain info about college comp). The same year I decided to apply to be an AP Lit reader. I had taught AP Lit for 6 years and was headed to teach for a year as "a bit more than an adjunct or TA" (I had health insurance and a better salary), and so because of my "amazing qualifications," I was selected to read. 

Well, it was in San Antonio, and I had a GREAT roommate, and we spent time on the river walk every night.  We ate at great restaurants--I had the first and best Tex-Mex chili of my life. We drank every night (I more than her. In her defense, she was around 45 and not an idiot.)

Perhaps unsurprisingly, the days reading tests were tough. I think I was kind of "tired" one day (unimpressive), and I remember almost falling asleep once at the table. I was on Question 3, and I don't remember what it was about, but I could look it up--it was 1993. Anyway, there were the two columns of books as suggested titles, and I hadn't read many of them.  So I would ask when I got to one I didn't know if someone at the table could score that one. "Has anyone read Wuthering Heights?" I asked at one point.  I remember an older kind of condescending woman saying, "You haven't read Wuthering Heights?!"  I think she was thinking, "Wow. You haven't EVEN read Wuthering Heights." I was thinking, "Oh, shit, I'm in trouble."

I can write this now about Wuthering Heights without looking it up: "I am Heathcliff. He's always, always on my mind. Whatever souls are made of, his and mine are the same stuff."  (I think that's pretty close.) Anyway, I've read it now, and at sixty, I know I wouldn't make some under thirty-year-old feel guilty for not having read a few classics. But, then again, I did admittedly struggle maintain focus sometimes which may have irritated her. 

I remember asking our table leader near the end when I found out that you had to be invited back, "Will you invite me back?" He assured me that, yes, he would suggest I be invited again. I don't think he did.  When I was at my next high school the math teacher was an AP reader. I told him I had done that as well. He said, "Why don't you do it anymore? Didn't you get asked back? Everyone gets asked back." Oh snap.

About five years ago, when I was in the thick of teaching both AP Lit and AP Lang and had more teaching years under my belt than years I had been alive in San Antonio, I applied to be an AP Lang reader. When it asked if you had been a reader before, I checked no. I feel guilty about it, and should be judged for the dishonesty. I HADN'T read for Lang and it truly had been 26-27 years ago at the time. I was still pretty nervous I would be "found out." I haven't been yet, but maybe some do-gooder will turn me in: "She WAS a reader and she sucked in 1993!!" (Again, long ago)

I didn't know the full level of my shame until that math teacher told me how UNUSUAL it was to not be asked to return. Now I realize they have weird algorithms and perfectly good readers don't get asked back every year. (However, I had not been a perfectly good reader.)  Though there had been some shame in San Antonio, I do remember really liking the river walk, liking my roommate and visiting

the Alamo, and best of all, liking that Tex Mex chili.           

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    I’m certainly not proud of that showing…I’m so glad to be here not there! I believe I am a very good Lang reader—this will be my 4th or 5th year. I take it seriously! Those were not my finest moments. I would never compromise my approach to any student essay. Here's to change and growth, I guess.  Someone responded to this on Facebook and said feeling shame is essentially a waste of time! I like that.

Please respond! I'd love to know what you think.  Did you ever have a bad experience reading AP tests?